Quest for life

Whenever I do coaching for people who are appearing in some exams I always ask them a question “So what do you think you could get in exam/test etc”. This is an obvious question and the answer immediately shows what the person is aiming for. If someone says that he thinks that he will get a “b” then he is aiming for nothing more than a grade ‘B’. Similarly, when a person replies that he will get an ‘a’ then he certainly is aiming for a grade ‘A’. Do you see how a simple answer reveals so much about what you are making out of your life?  What do you feel is the most powerful tool that we possess to bring changes in our lives? Yes, you have guessed it right. It is our mind. My coach used to say ‘whatever shit you are in is your own mind’s creation’. That used to annoy me. Do you think that I chose to be in this traffic jam or work in this crappy atmosphere? I did not want to take any blame for what my life looked like. It was always either the circumstances or the other people who

As a child, I was considered extraordinarily intelligent and also had a gift of gab. One would think that this would have made me a person who was really self-confident but no… that was not the case. In fact, I converted my strengths into weaknesses by not believing in myself. I always had self-doubts about myself. This self-doubt always made me look for validation from others and even when I got validation that was not enough for me. The self-doubt always made me choose the easier path, it made me meek and fearful. I was full of fear and always tried to fit in rather than be my own person. People with self-doubt usually get in their own way by trusting others more than trusting themselves. Fear and trust, of course, can’t go together. So, the first thing to start trusting yourself comes from accepting that there are no right or wrong answers in this world. It is always someone’s perspective: why not use your own perspective to choose the course of your life. The second t

Rule 2: The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs (ego) with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God. When I read this rule, I realized that I have never thought about the meaning of ‘Truth’ or how it can be related to the ‘heart’ and more amazingly ‘ego’. I, kind of, assumed that everybody lives in their own reality and that for him/her is the truth. However, this rule compelled me to delve deeper. What is the truth? Is it an incident that happened? A fact? Law of nature? Rational conclusion or conscious reasoning? In the religious world ‘truth’ has several facets. In Hinduism, it is one supreme reality which is ‘SatChitanand’, meaning it is eternal, all-conscious and blissful. To attain this one reality or ‘truth’ we have to follow the path of ‘Dharma’. ‘Dharma’ or the cosmic laws are for people who want to experience the su

Rule 21: When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a winebibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed and instead opens the third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm. "You become a child with kids", is what I am told often by my relatives. The tone in which it is delivered clearly suggests that it doesn't mean a positive thing in the dictionary of some of them. I ponder over it and still don't realise the real harm in becoming a child with the children. When we go temple, don't we become a little more pious? Or when we go to office, don't we become a little more business-like? Or when we go to a party, aren't we a bit in a party mood? So, when entering the kids' doma

Rule no. 12: There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centred people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead, will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them. In today's world, there are so many scandals popping up where so-called Gurus, babas and self-styled teachers are being exposed for various crimes. Recent case of Ram Rahim and the chaos it created with many lives lost and public property worth crores destroyed by faithful followers is one of the examples. The crimes these self-styled gurus commit, include from amassing enormous wealth to rapes and murders. Sometimes, I get amazed at how people are so devoted to such illiterate and fake gurus.

Rule 3: You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe because God is not confined to a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover. According to a popular belief in India, in Hinduism, there are 330 million Gods and Goddess (Choose as per your convenience 😄 ). The universe is full of things and people that will bring you closer to God. I always say that everyone is unique and hence everyone's way to attain God, Gods or Goddesses is different too. It's like getting relief from cold or a disease. Everyone gets cured in a different manner, some by doing nothing and letting nature take care, some by allopathic medicines, some by homeopathic, Ayurvedic, Tibetan, etc. and some simply by praying. Similarly one finds God in different manners through different means. I am born into the Hindu religion and hence it is easier for me to

Rule no-18:  If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can't be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses. When do we want people to change the ways they treat us? Obviously, it is when they are treating us negatively. However, sometimes, we are the people who give others the power to treat us badly. There are times when others treat us badly because they have understood that we would not stand for ourselves. There may be many reasons for not standing for oneself. Sometimes it may be because we are trying to avoid a conflicting situation. Sometimes, it is just a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem and sometimes it's just our self-conception that is being percolated to others even without our telling them anything. Shamz says that there is no way that