Quest for life

Rule no. 10: The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, love can only be perfected in pain. "Love can only be perfected in pain". Can it be expressed in more beautiful words? Yes, I feel that love can only be perfected in pain because love is transformation. Transformation of the ego, perspectives, beliefs, relationships, goals and life itself. And, a change is always painful. Why is change or transformation or love painful? Old is known. They say it's better to have a known devil than an unknown angel. People do not want to leave their comfort zone, no matter how stagnant, rotten or uncomfortable it feels. Known things can be controlled easily. The mind doesn't let go of the imaginary control that one feels in the present circumstances, conditions and situations. Re

Rule 16:Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart. What is real faith? Before my father died I thought real faith is believing in something that you trust with all your faculties. Believing that,  come what may, something that you have hoped for, will come true. Alas! Was I naive! I believed that my father will survive. I had so much faith in my own belief that I didn't even realise the gravity of his illness till the time doctor told me to call everyone as his condition is grave. And before I realised he was gone. It was a shock. I accepted his death calmly but it took some introspection and conviction to do so.  Life is slowly coming back to normal and it is only now that I am questioning faith. There was another fam

Rule no.7: Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. There have been times in my life when I felt despair. At one point of time, I was jobless, had a huge loan to repay, got my leg operated and was dreading that limping may become a permanent fixture of my walk. I tried my level best to be in good spirits, to find ways to keep myself engaged and to feel hopeful about future but at one point of time I couldn't keep myself motivated enough to remain happy and felt desperation and dejection. I can say from my own experience that if these emotions set in, the downward spiral is fast and bottomless. Luckily for me, it didn't last for long as I and my family and friends we

Rule no: 8: Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be short-sighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. Someone recently told me that patience is the sign of maturity. "Oh my God, I am not mature at all" was the first thought that came to mind. The shock of it left quite an impact on me as I never thought of patience as sign of maturity. It always came to me as something related with calmness and also tolerance but patience as a sign of maturity …. Give me a break! However, after my initial unwillingness to accept patience as a sign of maturity, it really dawned on me that my friend is right. What else can be a sign of maturity if not patience. An ability to deal with problems,

Rule no.11: The quest for love changes us. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without. It is very clear that a person requires love to experience life to the fullest and so Shamz asks you to look for love. However, why has Shamz urged people for embarking on a journey to find love outside? The question is; can anyone find love without first having it inside him/her to give it to the world. To me, if you do not have love inside you then you can't find it outside.  Here I mean to say two things; First is that love is an inherent feeling. You can feel unloved even when you are getting all the love in the world just because you have created barriers mental and emotional. The famous Persian poet and philosopher Rumi said, "Your task is not to seek love but merely to seek and find barriers within yourself that you have built against it". Let me expl

Rule 6: Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you. There was a time when I hated to be alone. To a person who loves to be surrounded by friends, it was as if loneliness was a punishment. Acting as an agony aunt and giving a patient hearing to someone in need which is one part of me that I enjoy. I am such a chatterbox that I always desired company. So, whenever I was alone, I missed company and felt that I was cursed to be lonely. However, slowly I started enjoying my own company. I realised that I enjoyed doing my own things. I love not being answerable to anyone for my own actions. I get time to reflect upon myself and my strength

Rule 5: Most of problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence. As per French born painter, sculptor and writer Marcel Duchamp “As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good. The question comes up, “is language an adequate mean of communication". Language as a tool to communicate is insufficient when it comes to expressing intense emotions. It doesn't express how a person feels or sees the world. For eg. one cannot interpret love however hard one tries or one can't explain the feeling of elation one gets from listening to music. The degree of happiness, the depth and the understanding of each person varies and categorising everyone's experience into limited vocabula

Rule 34: Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission a power that comes within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquility and peace even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence. When we talk about submission people think of two opponents trying to establish supremacy over each other, where one party has to relinquish control or power over to the other. The act of giving up control is seen as submission and usually viewed as something which a person does involuntarily and under pressure. However, submission can be a voluntary act as well. It can be an act of love and surrender to someone or something willingly. When submission is involuntary one is forced to put his ego aside and then serve the other force but when one submits willingly it is an act of faith and putting aside ego is only a small part in this kind of su

Rule no 13 of Shamz e Tabriz:  Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come? They say change is the only constant. Everything is on the move. The whole universe, this earth and every atom on it, time and everything that seems to   move and not move with time is constantly changing. One thing transforms itself into another and the cycle of change keeps moving. Change is everywhere and we go through it every moment. As Greek philosopher  Heraclitus said that "you can't step into the same river twice"  and yet we all want our lives to be a constant.   We teach our kids that ending has to be happily ever after....We dream that happy times are going to last forever and we do everything in our hands to keep the things as they are even if present circumstances are pathetic and a change is actually req

Shamz E Tabriz's 4th rule of Love says " Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures" Love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ How can love be so reckless? Why does it think of only the immediate happiness and forgets about the later consequences? What drives it to be so reckless and risk-taking? If it is one's heart then why does one's heart only feels and doesn't think anything? Who needs a broken heart even if it hides treasures? These are the thoughts clouding my mind these days. I have been thinking of writing essays on these rules for quite some time now.

Someone recently told me that perception is mother of all f*** ups. That made me think; "what has perception got to do with 'F*** ups". As it turns out, perception has everything to do with it. We just perceive some things because we have those beliefs out of common knowledge, fleeting experiences and convenience, not only convenience but also fun to remain in the dark. When it comes to perception we mainly rely on our five senses and obviously perceive whatever is most convenient and enjoyable to the senses without bothering to find the reality. We make opinions based on these perceptions and some times completely forget how much it can harm others. Just today one of my colleague commented something jokingly which is enough to spoil my reputation. I am well aware that he knows the reality but it is always more fun to feed people's perception. Moreover why deviate from something which is more juicy gossip and have fun at some female's expense than be a gentlema

Whenever there is a favorite song of mine on the radio, I not only sing along but can do a jig or two while driving the car. This, however, is a highly unacceptable behaviour as per my mom who thinks that I am past the age where such behaviour would have suited me. I keep asking my mom if there is any rule book on age appropriate behaviour for adults. For I have heard about age appropriate behaviour for kids and I do understand that there are certain norms that society expects you to follow once you have a certain type of understanding and maturity. However, if the behaviour doesn't interfere with anyone and is totally for your own pleasure does it have to be age appropriate? What is age appropriate anyway? Different cultures think differently on the same. For eg Hindi has a proverb which says "Buddhi Ghodi Lal Lagaam" which means heavily decorated old mare. In India, it is quite often used for older females who use bright colors or are heavily made up. I find it quite

Yesterday went to buy my dinner and while I was waiting for it to be packed was served a fantastic and much needed cup of tea. When I wanted to leave some tip the guys refused and were just happy to make me feel a little more comfortable in a foreign land. Wow, what hospitable attitude! I was thinking what did I do to deserve such kindness. There are many acts of kindness that we can do and probably do in our daily lives which bring happiness and satisfaction to our lives. Like helping old people to cross the road or paying for someone's coffee or education or saying some kind words to make someone feel better. However, how many times are we kind to our loved ones. Aren't we too pressed for time when it comes to spend time with our loved ones. Isn't it too much of an effort to say some kind words to people who are closest to us. So how is it that we are kind to strangers and not so kind to our near ones? What makes us act with kindness with total strangers and not with o