Trusting Yourself

As a child, I was considered extraordinarily intelligent and also had a gift of gab. One would think that this would have made me a person who was really self-confident but no… that was not the case. In fact, I converted my strengths into weaknesses by not believing in myself. I always had self-doubts about myself. This self-doubt always made me look for validation from others and even when I got validation that was not enough for me.

The self-doubt always made me choose the easier path, it made me meek and fearful. I was full of fear and always tried to fit in rather than be my own person. People with self-doubt usually get in their own way by trusting others more than trusting themselves. Fear and trust, of course, can’t go together.

So, the first thing to start trusting yourself comes from accepting that there are no right or wrong answers in this world. It is always someone’s perspective: why not use your own perspective to choose the course of your life.

The second thing to start feeling more confident in your own self is to really start observing yourself. Know yourself. Know your strengths. Know what you really like to do. Know what you really enjoy doing. Know what you excel in. In short, clarify your goals and visions. The more clarity you have, the more determined you become to achieve them. The more you are determined the more confident you feel.

The third thing is to take responsibility for your actions. By doing what others have told you to do, you are shirking from the failure or blame. By not accepting the responsibility for the consequence of your actions, you are also taking away power to choose. Therefore, take responsibility, give yourself the power to choose and take risks.

Don’t be afraid to fail. Failures always teach you something. Observe and learn from your failures. Try again. Most times we fail because we have not learnt the right technique, the right way or the right mix of doing a thing. Perseverance is the key to success so don’t give up and you will realise that slowly you start getting better and this, of course, boosts trust in yourself.

Most importantly, listen to your feelings. From an early stage, we start ignoring our gut feelings, that inner voice and start giving more attention and value to our rationale. Slowly this voice becomes weaker and weaker and finally stops interacting with you. Trust your own feelings and act upon them because no one knows you better than you. Once you start trusting your own feelings your intuition and your rationale, your mind will guide you in the right direction. Start with small things and decisions and slowly build up the trust. The more you do it the louder and clearer your inner voice will become.

In the end, I can tell you that trusting yourself can bring out a whole new ‘YOU’ which is liberating and fun.

My story of self-doubt ended when I took responsibility for my own actions and started taking a more focused approach to knowing myself better. It has been a journey with some good and bad experiences but I have enjoyed it and I love the way I have turned out to be.