Age Appropriate?
Whenever there is a favorite song of mine on the radio, I not only sing along but can do a jig or two while driving the car. This, however, is a highly unacceptable behaviour as per my mom who thinks that I am past the age where such behaviour would have suited me. I keep asking my mom if there is any rule book on age appropriate behaviour for adults. For I have heard about age appropriate behaviour for kids and I do understand that there are certain norms that society expects you to follow once you have a certain type of understanding and maturity. However, if the behaviour doesn't interfere with anyone and is totally for your own pleasure does it have to be age appropriate?
What is age appropriate anyway? Different cultures think differently on the same. For eg Hindi has a proverb which says "Buddhi Ghodi Lal Lagaam" which means heavily decorated old mare. In India, it is quite often used for older females who use bright colors or are heavily made up. I find it quite condescending. How can anyone decide what looks good on whom? Would you like to see an old woman who is shabbily dressed and badly made up. I would prefer to see an old woman dressed in bright colors and make up than a woman who seems to have stopped putting efforts to look good just because age has put wrinkles on her face. To me any woman who is putting efforts to look good has zeal to live and enjoy life a bit more than the woman who doesn't care for all these things.And it is true for anyone.An old man who is being charming to someone in a dignified way is kind of cute but usually that is taken as not age appropriate in my society.
In eastern cultures elders are revered so much that perceiving that they may have need for romantic love and companionship becomes difficult for young people. Just yesterday I came across a story where a lady in her late 40s is not getting married despite finding the right partner because her younger siblings can't understand her need to have her own family at this stage of her life. How brutal is that? In Indian middle class old age love is still considered a taboo as old people are supposed to be happy living the lives of their children and grand children. It is considered that the only love they need is the love and respect from their children. Young population of my country hardly understands that our adults may need a companion to share and understand their lives. I have seen many people who are spending their lives without even thinking seriously on these lines just because it is not accepted in our society. I can name few of my relatives who had been butt of ridicule just because they dared to break the rules and take a partner in their mature age.
Who decides how to behave in a particular age? Family and friends, society in general or an individual? I feel that life is evolving and changing all the time. What feels right at this particular moment may not feel the same later on. However, in our quest to find stability we loose on spontaneity and in our efforts to keep with social norms we loose on our individuality. I think that to be happy a right balance should be found. There is no rule book which says that one can't do things in young or old age and we should enjoy doing whatever we feel like while keeping things beautiful and dignified.
What is age appropriate anyway? Different cultures think differently on the same. For eg Hindi has a proverb which says "Buddhi Ghodi Lal Lagaam" which means heavily decorated old mare. In India, it is quite often used for older females who use bright colors or are heavily made up. I find it quite condescending. How can anyone decide what looks good on whom? Would you like to see an old woman who is shabbily dressed and badly made up. I would prefer to see an old woman dressed in bright colors and make up than a woman who seems to have stopped putting efforts to look good just because age has put wrinkles on her face. To me any woman who is putting efforts to look good has zeal to live and enjoy life a bit more than the woman who doesn't care for all these things.And it is true for anyone.An old man who is being charming to someone in a dignified way is kind of cute but usually that is taken as not age appropriate in my society.
In eastern cultures elders are revered so much that perceiving that they may have need for romantic love and companionship becomes difficult for young people. Just yesterday I came across a story where a lady in her late 40s is not getting married despite finding the right partner because her younger siblings can't understand her need to have her own family at this stage of her life. How brutal is that? In Indian middle class old age love is still considered a taboo as old people are supposed to be happy living the lives of their children and grand children. It is considered that the only love they need is the love and respect from their children. Young population of my country hardly understands that our adults may need a companion to share and understand their lives. I have seen many people who are spending their lives without even thinking seriously on these lines just because it is not accepted in our society. I can name few of my relatives who had been butt of ridicule just because they dared to break the rules and take a partner in their mature age.
Who decides how to behave in a particular age? Family and friends, society in general or an individual? I feel that life is evolving and changing all the time. What feels right at this particular moment may not feel the same later on. However, in our quest to find stability we loose on spontaneity and in our efforts to keep with social norms we loose on our individuality. I think that to be happy a right balance should be found. There is no rule book which says that one can't do things in young or old age and we should enjoy doing whatever we feel like while keeping things beautiful and dignified.
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