Patience, Persistence and Hope

Rule no: 8: Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be short-sighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.

Someone recently told me that patience is the sign of maturity. "Oh my God, I am not mature at all" was the first thought that came to mind. The shock of it left quite an impact on me as I never thought of patience as sign of maturity. It always came to me as something related with calmness and also tolerance but patience as a sign of maturity …. Give me a break! However, after my initial unwillingness to accept patience as a sign of maturity, it really dawned on me that my friend is right. What else can be a sign of maturity if not patience. An ability to deal with problems, nuisance, anger and delays in a calm and composed manner, an ability to see beyond the present circumstances, an ability to look at the end of the tunnel and see the light. Only children react to situations impulsively, mature people handle the situation with patience, with an attitude which makes acceptance of external uncontrollable circumstances easier. Mature people react but the reaction is not protest against the situation, problem or anger but accepting the situation and then finding alternatives, solutions or answers to deal with the situations.

All big religions and every culture in the world place a huge value on patience. In Hinduism "Kshama" (combination of forbearance and patience) is real foundation of spiritual progress. Patience is considered necessary for a person's long term happiness. Lord Krishna preached patience in the following words, "All the confusion in your mind arose as a result of lack of patience and discernment. Just as the sea never overflows its shores although it receives water from all rivers, restrain all your feelings, develop detachment and do your duty,” In Buddhism patience is one of the paramitas (perfections) that a man should attain for enlightenment. Gautam Buddha said that, "Nothing is mightier than patience and hence I strive in every way to learn Patience". In Buddhism patience is considered the greatest prayer. In Islam Sabr (patience and perseverance) plays a great role in getting the right guidance from Allah. The Quran says, "O you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Vie in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper." Patience is considered the greatest gift in Islam. 

In the native American Culture, it is said that all things unfold in time and hence second thoughts are encouraged to take decisions. In Japan, patience and determination are considered as the highest virtues. Fidgeting is considered bad in Japan. Patience is equally revered in African cultures. A Sudanese proverb says, "Patience is the key which solves all problems". A Bantu proverb says that, " Patience is mother of a beautiful child". I can go on and on about importance of patience in different cultures and people. However to understand and develop patience, I needed certain answers of my own and hence looked inside me to look for them. 

Still I was not sure as to what is considered as patience. Does endurance and forbearing of things when the person has no other choice, also counts as patience? It took me time to understand the first line of the rule where Shamz says that 'patience is not passive endurance'. I realised that the answer to my question lies in the very first sentence of the rule. When we do not have choice but to bear things we still have a choice. The choice lies in either enduring passively or accepting the present. Being patient would mean accepting the reality as it is and being in the now. Patience is also accepting the law of nature and learn to respect the process of time. Hence, when there is no choice but to endure, we are not practicing patience. However, we do have a choice to turn this endurance into patience by accepting the reality. It develops non opposing tolerance in you which in turn develops inner strength. Also, patience is, believing that the future outcome would be good, that things will change for the better and hence it encourages us to be persistent in doing things to attain what we want, in finding ways to get where we want to be or what we want to achieve.

As Shamz says in the rule patience also means “to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn.” Patience seems also to develop faith in the better outcome. It makes you believe that not all days are the same and that change is inevitable and if things are not as per your liking right now then this too shall pass. It encourages you to act in a way that may bring better outcomes because with patience thinks about different alternatives, solutions and outcomes and takes rational decisions instead of impulsive ones.

Patience not only teaches us to be in the moment and hope for the best but also teaches us to be forgiving, compassionate and as my friend says it makes you 'mature'. Being patient can mean that you understand and accept fellow human beings and are able to forgive the wrong deeds done by them. This may not come so easily to us but simple understanding of the people and situations can be a great step in the process of developing the patience. 

I, myself, have little patience and I react to things and people immediately most of the times. I am not proud of it and fully understand the importance of practicing patience and its long term impacts as well as the negative side of impulsive reactions. As I have read somewhere patience is a mindset which needs to be developed slowly. I think the first part of any change is accepting the present and then making efforts to change it. So, my journey to become patient starts with accepting that I am impatient and impulsive and very much in need to develop patience. Now that I am trying to harness my unruly energies, my anger, and my fears, I realise that it is a tough task. To trust that everything will turn out to be good in the end requires a lot of inner strength and faith. To persist and to stretch your limits in the hope of something better is the only way forward. I am not competent yet to give pointers in the learning to be patient as I myself am going through the journey but anyone who does have certain techniques or experiences is welcome to share them in this forum.