Love can only be perfected in pain
Rule no. 10: The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, love can only be perfected in pain.
"Love can only be perfected in pain". Can it be expressed in more beautiful words? Yes, I feel that love can only be perfected in pain because love is transformation. Transformation of the ego, perspectives, beliefs, relationships, goals and life itself. And, a change is always painful.
Why is change or transformation or love painful? Old is known. They say it's better to have a known devil than an unknown angel. People do not want to leave their comfort zone, no matter how stagnant, rotten or uncomfortable it feels. Known things can be controlled easily. The mind doesn't let go of the imaginary control that one feels in the present circumstances, conditions and situations. Research says that 90 out of 100 people do not opt for change even if the situation is life-threatening. Such is the discomfort or fear of uncertainty and unknown.
Fear of unknown, uncertainty and disruption is so intense that usually people stay where they are not risking the safety. They suffer in the 'known' but never find enough love, courage or faith to take the leap. However, people, who have leaped into the unbound sky of change, realise that transformation brings pain, but the end result of it also brings chartering unbound sky with open wings and joyful heart.
The pain of transformation can be as painful as giving birth. I have not had a chance to give birth but the pain a woman endures for the transition of becoming a mother is said to be almost like dying. She has to endure horrible pain to give birth to a new life. Ask any woman and she will say that the new life or the child is worth the pain. In this transition, not only the mother goes through the pain but also the child. It has to leave the warmth and security of the womb and has to breathe into this world. It also goes through pain to achieve the miracle called life. In the Hindu religion, a soul's transition to a new avatar is compared to 'going through hell'. The whole process of being born is like going through hell and therefore Hindu religion emphasizes on getting Moksha or release from the cycle of death and rebirth. However, the pain of going through hell also brings a new life and a new opportunity arises to reach higher and to grow further. This can also be an opportunity to reach that transcendent state where we are closer to the universe.
Hardship and transformation are necessary for growth. Transformation is a slow process. Nothing happens in an instant. It takes 3-5 days for an egg to become a larva or a caterpillar and then 5-7 days to become a chrysalis from a caterpillar and then the final metamorphosis begins which lasts for 7-10 days and a butterfly emerges. The life span of an average butterfly is 2 weeks. You see,.. half the life of a butterfly goes into becoming a butterfly from an egg. Endurance and faith in the beautiful outcome of the transition are necessary to not only survive but grow. Just as gold is purified in the fire, love is purified in the transformational process.
Author and public speaker Deepak Chopra that "uncertainties are the fertile ground of creativity and growth". Love for another human being is just the first step. This love takes you from self to no self, from ego to submission, from self-love to compassion and from selfishness to harmony. If we can perfect this love by enduring hardships arising out of the transformation of our self and life, we can achieve growth of our soul and we can come closer to divinity. Harmony with one soul can lead us to harmony with the world, with existence. When we start realising that we are not a separate existence but part of the whole, pain of transformation disappears and the perspective to everything changes. A connection with your own deeper self starts with transformation. This transformation starts with love and transition. This love can be for the higher consciousness, God, or the universe. The secret for this is to be selfless in love and have faith in transformation, in transitioning from self to the whole. So don't be afraid of love. Love hurts. Hurts badly. But unless you perfect the art of loving you can't grow as a soul. Hence perfect the art of love, don't be afraid, take the leap and immerse into the creation.
Why is change or transformation or love painful? Old is known. They say it's better to have a known devil than an unknown angel. People do not want to leave their comfort zone, no matter how stagnant, rotten or uncomfortable it feels. Known things can be controlled easily. The mind doesn't let go of the imaginary control that one feels in the present circumstances, conditions and situations. Research says that 90 out of 100 people do not opt for change even if the situation is life-threatening. Such is the discomfort or fear of uncertainty and unknown.
Fear of unknown, uncertainty and disruption is so intense that usually people stay where they are not risking the safety. They suffer in the 'known' but never find enough love, courage or faith to take the leap. However, people, who have leaped into the unbound sky of change, realise that transformation brings pain, but the end result of it also brings chartering unbound sky with open wings and joyful heart.
The pain of transformation can be as painful as giving birth. I have not had a chance to give birth but the pain a woman endures for the transition of becoming a mother is said to be almost like dying. She has to endure horrible pain to give birth to a new life. Ask any woman and she will say that the new life or the child is worth the pain. In this transition, not only the mother goes through the pain but also the child. It has to leave the warmth and security of the womb and has to breathe into this world. It also goes through pain to achieve the miracle called life. In the Hindu religion, a soul's transition to a new avatar is compared to 'going through hell'. The whole process of being born is like going through hell and therefore Hindu religion emphasizes on getting Moksha or release from the cycle of death and rebirth. However, the pain of going through hell also brings a new life and a new opportunity arises to reach higher and to grow further. This can also be an opportunity to reach that transcendent state where we are closer to the universe.
Hardship and transformation are necessary for growth. Transformation is a slow process. Nothing happens in an instant. It takes 3-5 days for an egg to become a larva or a caterpillar and then 5-7 days to become a chrysalis from a caterpillar and then the final metamorphosis begins which lasts for 7-10 days and a butterfly emerges. The life span of an average butterfly is 2 weeks. You see,.. half the life of a butterfly goes into becoming a butterfly from an egg. Endurance and faith in the beautiful outcome of the transition are necessary to not only survive but grow. Just as gold is purified in the fire, love is purified in the transformational process.
Author and public speaker Deepak Chopra that "uncertainties are the fertile ground of creativity and growth". Love for another human being is just the first step. This love takes you from self to no self, from ego to submission, from self-love to compassion and from selfishness to harmony. If we can perfect this love by enduring hardships arising out of the transformation of our self and life, we can achieve growth of our soul and we can come closer to divinity. Harmony with one soul can lead us to harmony with the world, with existence. When we start realising that we are not a separate existence but part of the whole, pain of transformation disappears and the perspective to everything changes. A connection with your own deeper self starts with transformation. This transformation starts with love and transition. This love can be for the higher consciousness, God, or the universe. The secret for this is to be selfless in love and have faith in transformation, in transitioning from self to the whole. So don't be afraid of love. Love hurts. Hurts badly. But unless you perfect the art of loving you can't grow as a soul. Hence perfect the art of love, don't be afraid, take the leap and immerse into the creation.
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