Now.......

Rule: 28       The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead, time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.

Yesterday, I watched a movie called ‘Hello Zindagi’ that I felt had a half-baked concept of facing fears and leaving the past behind. However, there was a dialogue in it, which, seemingly common, has made an impact on some of my colleagues. It goes like this, "don't let your past affect your present to ruin your future". Actually, it is not our past that affects us but our interpretation of the past. We are usually so engrossed in reliving the past again and again that we stop living in present. And sometimes we are dreaming of future so much that present seems to be lost in it.

Any event is an interpretation but especially past because we tend to live and relive the past again and again as we do not want to leave those familiar feelings behind be it happy or sad ones. The positive feelings of the past give us nostalgia and negative feelings of the past give us melancholy. However, both these feelings are familiar, we need not fear or anticipate anything. We need not make decisions or efforts to change the outcome and hence dwelling in the past, howsoever pleasant or unpleasant, becomes easier than to live in the present which calls for more efforts, more decision making, and more responsible ways of living.

Similarly, we tend to dwell in future. It is an illusion because we do not know what actually will happen. We do everything keeping our future in mind. We feel that we are the masters of our own lives and that if we play it right then the outcome in future will be as per our satisfaction. We keep weaving, anticipating and creating these dreams and outcomes and fears for future events forgetting all the while that we are not the only factor in the things that influence so-called future. We forget that no amount of planning will bring the exact same results that we are planning for. In fact, we forget that the present that we are living is not exactly the way we had anticipated it in the past. Yet we love to weave the future and enjoy or fear outcomes as per our logical calculations.

Since we perceive time through our senses and see changes through those senses, time for us becomes a linear concept. We perceive changes and think of things in a relative way and hence time seems to be divided in past, present, and future. We have always perceived time as a linear notion, therefore, we are always perceiving this world as a finite world with finite possibilities. We do not perceive this world as an infinite world with abundance. However, despite the fact that our mind is used to of linear thinking, it is always wishing for eternal bliss. This notion of eternal bliss again is based on the concept of time being a linear concept. Does this give us any peace? I don't think so. All it does is make us slaves of emotions. Mostly, we fail to enjoy the present or 'now' in this pursuit of eternal bliss.

Science may be telling us that time is actually timelessness but our religions and philosophers are telling it to us since ages. It is true that time moves through and within us in endless spirals. We are living either in the past, present, or future at any given point. If we actually want that eternal bliss then we need to embrace this everlasting life in one simultaneous present. We need to live in present.

It is easier to write or give sermons about living in the present but it is difficult to live these notions. For past few months, my life has been an uncertain bundle of fears and disappointments. I was very unhappy because the present was not what I had expected. I feared changes that future may bring. I didn't enjoy the present as I was living either in the past and or in the future because present to me was not interesting enough. I was suffering because if I compared it to my past, my past looked happier, livelier and more fulfilling and my future looked scary. I was feeling miserable in the present times because it did not match with my expectations.  Just recently, I took a conscious decision to face the present. I decided to stop caring for future. I guess that I got tired after a certain time of being in the past and future and then suddenly, something in me pinged, the inner voice said to me what about living for today. Why bother about something which has already past and why bother about something which is yet to come? I must confess that it is easier said than done. My mind keeps on going to these endless reveries into that dreamlike future or deep churning of past events.

It was only in past one week I remembered the concept of mindfulness and how it helps in being in the present. As we all know it is a technique where we are more aware of ourselves, our feelings, our bodies, our surroundings, and our overall environment. Every now and then I switch to this mode. Those are the days when I am most happy and productive but then I get caught in the daily turmoil of things and mindfulness becomes an alien concept.

The easiest step that you take in being mindful of the present is to 'breathe'. Nowadays I catch myself several times in a day and just focus on my breath. It lets me focus on 'now'. It makes me accept things and not resist anything. Acceptance also makes me go with the flow. It makes me less conscious of time and more conscious of my surroundings. However, it has not been easy. I still dwell on the past and dream about future and it still is difficult to just breathe and focus on the present but simple truth is that I have to make constant efforts to be mindful. It can’t be done when a person is on autopilot mode. However, now, whenever I dwell in future I am more positive about it because being mindful makes me accept reality and makes me more resilient to face whatever will come my way. I still think of the past but it is not with regret or longing but gratitude.

Being mindful also means to observe your thoughts and let go of them without passing any judgments. Slowly, it feels that you are outside of the entire situation and that brings peace, it relieves me of anxiety. I am not doing meditation daily but on the days that I do it, I always feel that I am outside of all these problems, worries and difficult situations. I feel detached but I also feel more attentive to very normal chores like driving or walking or dressing up.

I keep reminding myself that life is now and one has a choice to savour now by being in it, by being more conscious of everything you do and everything includes such simple tasks like breathing, eating, walking, running or working.  I feel that being in nature helps people to be more mindful.  At least that is the case with me. Whenever I am in the park or close to nature my senses are more alive. I observe everything from the shape of a tree to the movement of the slight wind caressing the leaves, to the playfulness of the squirrels.

Being in ‘now’ is like being in the flow. In fact being in the flow makes people more productive, more creative and livelier. I may not have found eternal illumination but I definitely have found peace and happiness by being in the present as it has taught me to get rid of all the futile emotions arising from living in either the past or in the future. This has also taught me not only to look at the time, not in a linear form but also not as a commodity. As soon as I leave the thought that time is sort of a commodity and is in short supply, I become calm. I feel part of this universe. Surprisingly, I also become more accepting and forgiving. I feel one with everyone and then all whatever is happening around me is not affecting me and hence at peace. Mindfulness or being in ‘now’ is centuries old concept but we are so caught up in the daily lives that we hardly use it. Start being in ‘now’ and see the magic unfold.