Love changes everything!

Rule 24: Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell

Love, love changes everything 

Hands and faces, 

earth and sky,

Love, love changes everything, 

How you live and how you die 

 

Michael Ball’s song ‘Love changes everything’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnLE0N87T6k) seems to sum up what Shamz wants to say. Love changes everything around us and nothing seems to be same. We all know how it feels when one falls in love. All our senses are heightened. Days look fresh, our faces look brighter, and the whole world seems full of wonderful people and things. Heaven actually seems like a place on earth.

However, is it the same when it comes to loving your neighbour, colleague or the person sitting next to you in some public place. I don’t know whether loving your neighbour can feel like heaven (unless the person next door is your romantic interest) but I can definitely tell you that fighting a neighbour can feel like hell. I had a dispute going on with my neighbour for a very long time. Each time I approached this lady, she very tactfully avoided the issue. The problem was that I couldn’t even show my frustration fully as she was so sweet spoken that beyond a point you could not say anything. However, with this strategy she avoided doing certain repairs which ultimately cost me lakhs of rupees and also extreme inconvenience. My God, how I hated this lady and her sweet talks. And as Shamz says, I was tumbling straight into the fire of hell. So, hating someone definitely can be an experience which will give you the taste of hell. And loving everyone is not really possible all the time, especially when someone is hurting you emotionally, financially or in any other way. 

In these Covid times, everyone has a lot of time to reflect – I also have the luxury of time to reflect. I realised how much harm I am doing to my body and my peace of mind by simply not accepting that the lady will not do what she is legally obliged to do unless I actually take a legal course and force her. The start of change in my attitude came from accepting the situation and the other person as she was. The simple realisation of the futility of the situation was enough to make me get a respite from those burning fires that were actually simmering inside me. The second step was to accept it for what it was. I had two options either go legal and fight or keep on requesting her and at the same time hate her for her audacity. What was strange was that when I accepted the situation and her nature as they are, I actually felt a sort of compassion for her. I can’t explain where it came from. Maybe because of the regular meditation that I do or because I changed the focus from the problem to the solution. 

I think that changing perspective can definitely change many things in us. It means that you see the situation from your point of view and also from other people’s point of view.  It means to look at the negative situation in a different way and find a positive side to it. It means focusing on the blessings rather than on blockages of life. Changing perspective can give deeper insights. It also means bringing a ray of hope or even happiness to your life. Therefore, if we want to avoid fires of hell then changing perspective can help. 

Changing perspective makes a person more rational, empathetic and compassionate. This can resolve so many conflicts. Being rational and empathetic may not take your problems go away but it would bring insight and peace of mind to you. Changing perspective may or may not provide you happiness but it would definitely keep you away from the burning fires of hell. 

In my case, I did change my perspective and started having compassion for the lady. I went ahead with legal course of action but instead of hatred, I had a rational attitude toward the problem. Ultimately, she came to her senses and she did cooperate. However, I do not know whether my positive vibes reached her or my legal action forced her to comply. Maybe it was a combination of both. What I would like to take from this experience is the fact that a little change in my perspective and focusing on the solution changed a lot of things. What is more remarkable is that even though I acted it was not out of malice but to find a solution. And because I had no malice or hatred toward her things became much easier for me. I felt happier and more relaxed even when I was fighting a legal battle. From my experience, I can say that love (or in my case compassion) did change everything. This experience has taught me to have more love and compassion for people around me and to see positivity in my surroundings and situations.  Love is received and given to others in many different ways. The minimum form of love that we can offer to people is compassion and gratitude. Compassion can make you feel better and make the others also feel better. So, instead of experiencing hell by being envious and hateful let us try to change perspective and be compassionate to experience heaven. The positive attitude, compassion and love would make you see things in a very new light. It will change not only the people’s attitude around you but in certain cases even the difficult situations that you may be facing. Because as the song goes, love changes everything, how you live and how you die.